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JOKE OF THE DAY
Teens have their texting codes (LOL, OMG, TTYL, etc.).
Not to be outdone by these little SNK (snotty nosed kids), now, finally we long-suffering seniors have our own texting codes!
Texting for Seniors as follows:
ATD - At the Doctor's
BFF - Best Friend's Funeral
BTW - Bring the Wheelchair
BYOT - Bring your own teeth
CBM - Covered by Medicare
CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center
DWI - Driving While Incontinent
FWBB - Friend with Beta Blockers
FWIW - Forgot Where I Was
FYI - Found Your Insulin
GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
GHA - Got Heartburn Again
IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL - Living on Lipitor
OMMR - On My Massage Recliner
ROFL..CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing...Can't get Up!
TOT - Texting on Toilet
TTYL - Talk to You Louder
WTP - Where are the Prunes
WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil
Hope these help!
GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In
Todd Sabo
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BLONDE JOKE
Did you read about the 2 blondes walking down the street, and walked right into the building?
You'd think one of them would have avoided it.
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GOLF JOKE
Hear the one about the bad tempered golfer who bought a new set of Great Big Bertha Woods. After playing with them for a couple of rounds he returned to his pro shop and told the pro that these were the best clubs he had ever played with. In fact "I can throw these clubs 40 yards further than my old ones" he told the pro.
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JEWISH JOKE
Q: What's the difference between a Jewish Mother and a Rottweiler?
A: Eventually the Rottweiler lets go.
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LAWYER JOKE
Why does California have the most lawyers in the country, and New Jersey have the most toxic waste sites?
New Jersey got first choice.
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CLASSIC JOKE
In a small Texas town, a new tavern business started constructing a building in which to open up a bar. The local Baptist church began a campaign to block the bar from opening with petitions and prayers. Work progressed, however right up until the week before opening, when lightning struck the bar and it burned to the ground The church folks were rather smug in their outlook until the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the church was ultimately responsible for the destruction of his building, either through direct or indirect actions or means. The church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise in its reply to the court.
As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork. At the hearing he commented, "I don't know how I'm going to decide this, but it appears from the paperwork that we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer and an entire church congregation that doesn't."
submitted by: Aileen Gordon
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USEFUL INFORMATION
Most of us take the summons for jury duty seriously, but enough people skip out on their civic duty, that a new and ominous kind of scam has surfaced. Fall for it and your identity could be stolen, reports CBS. In this con, someone calls pretending to be a court official who threateningly says a warrant has been issued for your arrest because you didn't show up for jury duty. The caller claims to be a jury coordinator. If you protest that you never received a summons for jury duty, the scammer asks you for your Social Security number and date of birth so he or she can verify the information and cancel the arrest warrant. Sometimes they even ask for credit card numbers. Give out any of this information and .... Bingo! Your identity has just been stolen. The scam has been reported so far in 11 states. This scam is particularly insidious because they use intimidation over the phone to try to bully peopl e into giving information by pretending they're with the court system. The FBI and the federal court system have issued nationwide alerts on their web sites, warning consumers about the fraud
Here is the link if you want to check it out. http://www.snopes.com/crime/fraud/juryduty.asp
Submitted by: Bob Gasway
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