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 JOKE OF THE DAY
Teens have their texting codes (LOL, OMG, TTYL, etc.).
Not to be outdone by these little SNK (snotty nosed kids), now, finally we long-suffering seniors have our own texting codes!

Texting for Seniors as follows:

ATD - At the Doctor's

BFF - Best Friend's Funeral

BTW - Bring the Wheelchair

BYOT - Bring your own teeth

CBM - Covered by Medicare

CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center

DWI - Driving While Incontinent

FWBB - Friend with Beta Blockers

FWIW - Forgot Where I Was

FYI - Found Your Insulin

GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low

GHA - Got Heartburn Again

IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?

LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out

LOL - Living on Lipitor

OMMR - On My Massage Recliner

ROFL..CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing...Can't get Up!

TOT - Texting on Toilet

TTYL - Talk to You Louder

WTP - Where are the Prunes

WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil

Hope these help!

GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In






Todd Sabo


 BLONDE JOKE
A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman:
"I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen".

The surprised salesman replies:

"But, madam, computers do not have curtains"!!!....

And the blonde said:

"Helloooo.... I've got Windows"!!!!!
  ... More Blonde Jokes?


 GOLF JOKE
Anyone for Golf?

I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.

I've spent most of my life golfing. The rest I've just wasted.

They call it golf because all the other four-letter words were taken.

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.

Golf is a game in which you yell "fore," shoot six, and write down five.

Give me golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.

Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing.

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.

It's good sportsmanship not to pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

Golf is a game in which one endeavors to control a ball with implements ill-adapted for the purpose.

Gone golfin' ... be back about dark thirty.

The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.

Submitted by: Elmer Nance
  ... More Golf Jokes?


 JEWISH JOKE
A guy offers to buy a drink for an attractive young woman seated at a
bar. She gives him the green light, so he goes to the end of the bar
and whispers to the bartender to make up a Martini for her and to put
some Spanish-fly in the drink.
The bartender whispers back to say he's all out of Spanish-fly and all he has left is Jewish-fly.

Shrugging his shoulders, the guy says, OK, put some of that in her drink.
As she sips on the drink, she gets more and more cozy, really warming up to the guy. Finally, she finishes the drink, leans over and whispers in his ear, .....Let's go shopping.

Submitted by: Fred Lee
  ... More Jewish Jokes?


 LAWYER JOKE
How many lawyer jokes are there?
Only three. The rest are true stories.
  ... More Lawyer Jokes?


 CLASSIC JOKE
Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25 year-old blonde who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word.

His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, "Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?"

Bob replies, "Girlfriend? She's my wife!"

They're knocked over, but continue to ask. "So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?"

"I lied about my age", Bob replies.

"What, did you tell her you were only 50?"

Bob smiles and says, "No, I told her I was 90.




submitted by: Renee Andert
  ... More Classic Jokes?


 USEFUL INFORMATION
A Friend Is Someone

Who Reaches For Your

Hand But Touches Your Heart

"The Only Way To Have A Friend Is To Be One."

submitted by: Elmer Nance
  ... More Useful Information?