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 JOKE OF THE DAY
Teens have their texting codes (LOL, OMG, TTYL, etc.).
Not to be outdone by these little SNK (snotty nosed kids), now, finally we long-suffering seniors have our own texting codes!

Texting for Seniors as follows:

ATD - At the Doctor's

BFF - Best Friend's Funeral

BTW - Bring the Wheelchair

BYOT - Bring your own teeth

CBM - Covered by Medicare

CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center

DWI - Driving While Incontinent

FWBB - Friend with Beta Blockers

FWIW - Forgot Where I Was

FYI - Found Your Insulin

GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low

GHA - Got Heartburn Again

IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?

LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out

LOL - Living on Lipitor

OMMR - On My Massage Recliner

ROFL..CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing...Can't get Up!

TOT - Texting on Toilet

TTYL - Talk to You Louder

WTP - Where are the Prunes

WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil

Hope these help!

GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In






Todd Sabo


 BLONDE JOKE
When the blonde saw the "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted), at the movie theater she went home and got 16 friends!!!
  ... More Blonde Jokes?


 GOLF JOKE
A group of four married guys met for a Saturday A.M. tee time. On the first tee, one man said "I am thrilled to be out on the course, it's been a while, but it will really cost me. I had to promise I would paint the entire house next weekend in order to come here today. "The second man replied "You think that's bad, I have to build a deck all around our pool. "The third guy jumped into conversation with "You both got off easy, I have to remodel the kitchen".

After the first three holes, the three men who complained realized the fourth
had been silent when they were discussing their problems, and one asked "Hey,
you didn't say anything about what you had to promise your wife to be able to
play golf today, what gives? "He said he did not have to do anything. The
others were confused and asked him to explain his secret. He said "It was
easy, I just set my alarm clock for 5:00 AM. When the alarm went off, I rolled
over and nudged my wife and asked her "Golf course or intercourse?" and she said "Don't forget your sunscreen."
  ... More Golf Jokes?


 JEWISH JOKE
A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married. "Just for fun, Ma", he says, "I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."

The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while.

The young man then says, "Okay, Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry.

"She immediately replies, "The one on the right." "That's amazing, Ma! You're right. How did you know?

The Jewish mother replies "I don't like her."
  ... More Jewish Jokes?


 LAWYER JOKE
What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?
The pronunciation.
  ... More Lawyer Jokes?


 CLASSIC JOKE
A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper and his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a shoe.

"What was that for?" he asked.

"That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Marylou written on it," she replied.

"Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Marylou was the name of one of the horses I bet on," he explained.

"Oh honey, I'm sorry," she said. "I should have known there was a good explanation."

Three days later he was watching TV again when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with the iron skillet, which knocked him out cold. When he came to, he asked, "What the heck was that for?"

The wife answered, "Your horse called."

Submitted by: Margo Australia
  ... More Classic Jokes?


 USEFUL INFORMATION
This might be a lifesaver if we can remember the three questions!

IS IT A STROKE?

Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, this lack of awareness can spell disaster. The stroke victim may suffer brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.


Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:

Ask the individual to smile.

Ask him or her to raise both arms.

Ask the person to speak a simple sentence.

If he or she has trouble with any of these tasks, call 9-1-1 immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

After discovering that a group of non-medical volunteers could identify facial weakness, arm weakness and speech problems, researchers urged the general public to learn the three questions. They presented their conclusions at the American Stroke Association's annual meeting last February. Widespread use of this test could result in prompt diagnosis and treatment of the stroke and prevent brain damage.
  ... More Useful Information?