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 JOKE OF THE DAY
Teens have their texting codes (LOL, OMG, TTYL, etc.).
Not to be outdone by these little SNK (snotty nosed kids), now, finally we long-suffering seniors have our own texting codes!

Texting for Seniors as follows:

ATD - At the Doctor's

BFF - Best Friend's Funeral

BTW - Bring the Wheelchair

BYOT - Bring your own teeth

CBM - Covered by Medicare

CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center

DWI - Driving While Incontinent

FWBB - Friend with Beta Blockers

FWIW - Forgot Where I Was

FYI - Found Your Insulin

GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low

GHA - Got Heartburn Again

IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?

LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out

LOL - Living on Lipitor

OMMR - On My Massage Recliner

ROFL..CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing...Can't get Up!

TOT - Texting on Toilet

TTYL - Talk to You Louder

WTP - Where are the Prunes

WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil

Hope these help!

GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In






Todd Sabo


 BLONDE JOKE
What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket?

A Rebel without a clue.


  ... More Blonde Jokes?


 GOLF JOKE
It's easy to understand this man's anger.

To celebrate 50 years of marriage, a couple booked a weekend at St. Andrews. On the third tee, the husband said, "Darling, I have to confess something ... twenty years ago I had a brief affair ... it meant nothing ... I hope that you can forgive me."

His wife was hurt but said, "Dearest, those days are long gone. What we have now is far more valuable. I forgive you." They embraced and kissed.

A while later on the seventeenth tee the wife said to her husband, "Darling, since we're being honest with each other today, I have something to tell you. Fifty-two years ago I had a sex change operation ... I was a man before we met."

The husband threw a fit! He cursed, threw his driver away, broke the rest of his clubs one by one, tore at his clothes, screamed and ranted, "You liar, you despicable cheat! How could you? I trusted you ... and all these years you have been playing from the ladies' tees!"

Submitted by: Elmer Nance
  ... More Golf Jokes?


 JEWISH JOKE
A man's son was about four years old.

The young boy had just come home from Hebrew school. His father asked him what he'd learned that day.

The boy was quiet for a moment and then said, "Dad, have any of the men in our family had their penises criticized?"

The wife cracked up and told him the term was "circumcised", but the answer was still "Yes."
  ... More Jewish Jokes?


 LAWYER JOKE
A true story: A convicted con man was recently found to be impersonating a lawyer in New York City.

To which one judge remarked, "I should have suspected he wasn't a lawyer. He was always so punctual and polite."
  ... More Lawyer Jokes?


 CLASSIC JOKE
Here is a question that was asked of a Priest, a Minister and a Rabbi:

"When you are in your casket, and friends, family and congregants are mourning over you, what would you like to hear them say?"

The Episcopal priest answered, "I would like to hear them say that I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader and a great family man."

The Catholic priest said, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful teacher and a servant of G-d who made a huge difference in people's lives."

The Rabbi answered, "I would like to hear them say, 'Look, he's moving!'"

Submitted by Pam Wasserman
  ... More Classic Jokes?


 USEFUL INFORMATION
I thought everybody should know how to make an At Home DNA Kit for their children, grandchildren, nieces or nephews.

Creating a DNA kit of your children at home is easy and can help police find your child if he or she is ever abducted. All that's needed is a set of nail clippers, cotton swabs, a comb, gauze pads, and a freezer bag.

Rub the tip of the cotton swab inside the child's right and left cheek. Clip your child's fingernails and save the clippings. Comb through the child's hair and save some of the loose hairs in the comb. Next time the child skins his or her knee, use the gauze pad to collect and preserve some of the blood. Take all the samples, and a baby tooth if you have one, and place into a freezer bag. Seal the bag, label it, and place it in the freezer where it can be preserved for years.

Having a DNA kit should not take the place of parents keeping a watchful eye on their children.
  ... More Useful Information?