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 JOKE OF THE DAY
Teens have their texting codes (LOL, OMG, TTYL, etc.).
Not to be outdone by these little SNK (snotty nosed kids), now, finally we long-suffering seniors have our own texting codes!

Texting for Seniors as follows:

ATD - At the Doctor's

BFF - Best Friend's Funeral

BTW - Bring the Wheelchair

BYOT - Bring your own teeth

CBM - Covered by Medicare

CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center

DWI - Driving While Incontinent

FWBB - Friend with Beta Blockers

FWIW - Forgot Where I Was

FYI - Found Your Insulin

GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low

GHA - Got Heartburn Again

IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?

LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out

LOL - Living on Lipitor

OMMR - On My Massage Recliner

ROFL..CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing...Can't get Up!

TOT - Texting on Toilet

TTYL - Talk to You Louder

WTP - Where are the Prunes

WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil

Hope these help!

GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In






Todd Sabo


 BLONDE JOKE
While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball, and seeing no one around it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts.

Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change.

A blonde girl standing next to him eyed the large bulge in his shorts. "What's that?" she asked, her eyes gleaming with lust.

"Tennis ball," came the breathless reply.

"Oh," said the blonde sympathetically, "that must be painful.... I had tennis elbow once."
  ... More Blonde Jokes?


 GOLF JOKE
It was a sunny Saturday morning, and Joel was beginning his pre-shot routine, visualizing his upcoming shot when a voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker - "Would the gentleman on the Ladies tee please back up to the men's tee, please!" Joel was still deep in his routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption. Again the announcement - "Would the man on the women's tee kindly back up the men's tee!"

Joel had had enough. He shouted, "Would the announcer in the clubhouse kindly shut up and let me play my second shot!"
  ... More Golf Jokes?


 JEWISH JOKE
Jewish View on When Life Begins

There is a big controversy these days concerning when life begins.

In Jewish tradition the fetus is not considered a viable human being until after graduation from medical school.
  ... More Jewish Jokes?


 LAWYER JOKE
What are lawyers good for?
They make used car salesmen look good.
  ... More Lawyer Jokes?


 CLASSIC JOKE
Subject: The Undertaker

Roy, an undertaker in Pennsylvania came home with a black eye.

"What happened to you?" asked his wife."

I had a terrible day," replies Roy."I had to go to a hotel and pick
up a man who had died in his sleep.

When I got there, the manager said they couldn't get him into a
body bag because he had this huge erection.

Sure enough, there's this big naked guy lying on the bed with this
huge erection. So I grabbed it with both hands and tried to snap it in
half."

"I see," says his wife. "But how did you get the black eye?"

Roy replied, "Wrong room!"





submitted by: Harold Greene
  ... More Classic Jokes?


 USEFUL INFORMATION
I thought everybody should know how to make an At Home DNA Kit for their children, grandchildren, nieces or nephews.

Creating a DNA kit of your children at home is easy and can help police find your child if he or she is ever abducted. All that's needed is a set of nail clippers, cotton swabs, a comb, gauze pads, and a freezer bag.

Rub the tip of the cotton swab inside the child's right and left cheek. Clip your child's fingernails and save the clippings. Comb through the child's hair and save some of the loose hairs in the comb. Next time the child skins his or her knee, use the gauze pad to collect and preserve some of the blood. Take all the samples, and a baby tooth if you have one, and place into a freezer bag. Seal the bag, label it, and place it in the freezer where it can be preserved for years.

Having a DNA kit should not take the place of parents keeping a watchful eye on their children.
  ... More Useful Information?