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 JOKE OF THE DAY
Teens have their texting codes (LOL, OMG, TTYL, etc.).
Not to be outdone by these little SNK (snotty nosed kids), now, finally we long-suffering seniors have our own texting codes!

Texting for Seniors as follows:

ATD - At the Doctor's

BFF - Best Friend's Funeral

BTW - Bring the Wheelchair

BYOT - Bring your own teeth

CBM - Covered by Medicare

CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center

DWI - Driving While Incontinent

FWBB - Friend with Beta Blockers

FWIW - Forgot Where I Was

FYI - Found Your Insulin

GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low

GHA - Got Heartburn Again

IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?

LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out

LOL - Living on Lipitor

OMMR - On My Massage Recliner

ROFL..CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing...Can't get Up!

TOT - Texting on Toilet

TTYL - Talk to You Louder

WTP - Where are the Prunes

WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil

Hope these help!

GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In






Todd Sabo


 BLONDE JOKE
Two new work crews, the first composed of brunettes the second composed of Blondes, were putting in telephone poles. At the end of the day the foreman asked the first crew how many poles they had done.

"Twelve" was the answer.

"Not bad," replied the foreman. Then he asked the second crew (composed of blondes) how many poles they had put in.

"Two" was the reply.

"Two?" shouted the foreman. "The others did 12, and you did two?"

"Yeah, " answered the leader of the blonde group." But you should see how much they left sticking out of the ground."
  ... More Blonde Jokes?


 GOLF JOKE
In Africa some of the native tribes have a custom of beating the ground with clubs and uttering spine-chilling cries.

Anthropologists call this a form of primitive self-expression...

In America they call it golf.

Submitted by: Joel S.
  ... More Golf Jokes?


 JEWISH JOKE
One of the richest Jewish men on the East Coast of the US had to go into the hospital for a week. So he booked himself into one of the best hospitals in the whole USA. Within a couple of days he moved to a small downtown Brooklyn hospital. One of the doctors in this hospital asked what was wrong with the first hospital.

"Was the medical care not good enough?"

"No - the medical care was the best available. I couldn't complain".

"Was the nursing care OK"

"Yes - the nursing care was brilliant. I couldn't complain"

"What about the food and the wards?"

"The food was cordon bleu, fantastic, and the hospital rooms were perfect. I couldn't complain".

"So why did you leave there for here" the doctor asked.

"Here, I can complain!"
  ... More Jewish Jokes?


 LAWYER JOKE
How many lawyer jokes are there?
Only three. The rest are true stories.
  ... More Lawyer Jokes?


 CLASSIC JOKE
A little turtle begins to climb a tree slowly. After long hours of effort, he reaches the top, jumps into the air waving his front legs, until he crashes heavily into the ground with a hard knock on his shell. After recovering his consciousness, he starts to climb the tree again, jumps again, and knocks the ground heavily again.

The little turtle persisted again and again while a couple of birds sitting at the edge of a branch, watched the turtle with pain.

Suddenly the female bird says to the male, "Hey dear, I think it's time to tell our little turtle he is adopted."
  ... More Classic Jokes?


 USEFUL INFORMATION
Most of us take the summons for jury duty seriously, but enough people skip out on their civic duty, that a new and ominous kind of scam has surfaced. Fall for it and your identity could be stolen, reports CBS. In this con, someone calls pretending to be a court official who threateningly says a warrant has been issued for your arrest because you didn't show up for jury duty. The caller claims to be a jury coordinator. If you protest that you never received a summons for jury duty, the scammer asks you for your Social Security number and date of birth so he or she can verify the information and cancel the arrest warrant. Sometimes they even ask for credit card numbers. Give out any of this information and .... Bingo! Your identity has just been stolen. The scam has been reported so far in 11 states. This scam is particularly insidious because they use intimidation over the phone to try to bully peopl e into giving information by pretending they're with the court system. The FBI and the federal court system have issued nationwide alerts on their web sites, warning consumers about the fraud
Here is the link if you want to check it out. http://www.snopes.com/crime/fraud/juryduty.asp

Submitted by: Bob Gasway
  ... More Useful Information?