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JOKE OF THE DAY
Teens have their texting codes (LOL, OMG, TTYL, etc.).
Not to be outdone by these little SNK (snotty nosed kids), now, finally we long-suffering seniors have our own texting codes!
Texting for Seniors as follows:
ATD - At the Doctor's
BFF - Best Friend's Funeral
BTW - Bring the Wheelchair
BYOT - Bring your own teeth
CBM - Covered by Medicare
CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center
DWI - Driving While Incontinent
FWBB - Friend with Beta Blockers
FWIW - Forgot Where I Was
FYI - Found Your Insulin
GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
GHA - Got Heartburn Again
IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL - Living on Lipitor
OMMR - On My Massage Recliner
ROFL..CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing...Can't get Up!
TOT - Texting on Toilet
TTYL - Talk to You Louder
WTP - Where are the Prunes
WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil
Hope these help!
GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In
Todd Sabo
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BLONDE JOKE
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what, we're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You’ll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"
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GOLF JOKE
Supposedly, this is posted at a golf club in Scotland
1. Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart
2. Form a loose grip.
3. Keep your head down!
4. Avoid a quick backswing.
5. Stay out of the water.
6. Try not to hit anyone.
7. If you are taking too long, let others go ahead of you!
8. Don’t stand directly in front of others.
9. Quiet please, while others are preparing.
10. Don’t take extra strokes!
11. Well done, now flush the urinal, wash your hands, go outside and tee off!
Submitted by: Jim Brown
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JEWISH JOKE
A man's son was about four years old.
The young boy had just come home from Hebrew school. His father asked him what he'd learned that day.
The boy was quiet for a moment and then said, "Dad, have any of the men in our family had their penises criticized?"
The wife cracked up and told him the term was "circumcised", but the answer was still "Yes."
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CLASSIC JOKE
I, uh, rearended a car a few days ago...
The driver got out of the other car and I couldn't
help but notice that he was a dwarf...
...and that he was REALLY pissed!
He walked to the back of his car, looked at the damage,
strolled over to my door, looked up and said,
"I am NOT happy!"
I just looked at him and said, "Well, then, which one ARE you?"
Submitted by: Aileen Gordon
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USEFUL INFORMATION
A Friend Is Someone
Who Reaches For Your
Hand But Touches Your Heart
"The Only Way To Have A Friend Is To Be One."
submitted by: Elmer Nance
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
