Home | Blonde Jokes | Golf Jokes | Jewish Jokes | Lawyer Jokes | Classic Jokes | Useful Information
 Jere 

jeresjokes@yahoo.com

 Jere's Holiday
Gift Picks 
Click Here
Great Gifts for Everyone!

 CHEAPEST GAS PRICES! 
Enter your Zip Code


 Free Online Games 

 Entertainment, Travel & Science News 

 How Old Are You? 

 Get Your Weather 
Enter your Zip Code

 Movie Listings 
Enter your Zip Code


 Get Your Stocks 
Enter Symbol:


 Get Your Horoscope 
Whats Your Sign?


 JOKE OF THE DAY
Teens have their texting codes (LOL, OMG, TTYL, etc.).
Not to be outdone by these little SNK (snotty nosed kids), now, finally we long-suffering seniors have our own texting codes!

Texting for Seniors as follows:

ATD - At the Doctor's

BFF - Best Friend's Funeral

BTW - Bring the Wheelchair

BYOT - Bring your own teeth

CBM - Covered by Medicare

CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center

DWI - Driving While Incontinent

FWBB - Friend with Beta Blockers

FWIW - Forgot Where I Was

FYI - Found Your Insulin

GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low

GHA - Got Heartburn Again

IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?

LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out

LOL - Living on Lipitor

OMMR - On My Massage Recliner

ROFL..CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing...Can't get Up!

TOT - Texting on Toilet

TTYL - Talk to You Louder

WTP - Where are the Prunes

WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil

Hope these help!

GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In






Todd Sabo


 BLONDE JOKE
Q: Why shouldn't Blondes have coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.
  ... More Blonde Jokes?


 GOLF JOKE
During the weekly Lamaze class, the instructor emphasized the importance of exercise, hinting strongly that husbands need to get out and start walking with their wives.

From the back of the room one expectant father inquired, "Would it be okay if she carries a bag of golf clubs while she walks?"
  ... More Golf Jokes?


 JEWISH JOKE
A British Jew is waiting on line to be knighted by the Queen.
He is to kneel in front of her and recite a sentence in Latin when she taps him on the shoulders with her sword. However, when his
turn comes, he panics in the excitement of the moment and forgets the Latin. Then, thinking fast, he recites the only other sentence he knows
in a foreign language, which he remembers from the Passover seder:

Ma nishtana ha layla ha zeh mi kol ha laylot.
Puzzled, Her Majesty turns to her advisor and whispers, Why is this knight different from all other knights?
  ... More Jewish Jokes?


 LAWYER JOKE
Bubba called his attorney and asked, "Is it true they're suing the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?"

"Yes, Bubba, sure is true," responded the lawyer.

"And now someone is suing the fast food restaurants for making them fat and clogging their arteries with all them burgers and fries, is that true, mister lawyer?"

"Sure is Bubba"

And the lady sued McDonald's for millions when she was given the hot coffee that she had ordered?"

"Yep."

"And the football player sued the university when he graduated and still couldn't read?"

"That's right," said the lawyer. "But why are you asking?"

"Cause what I want to know is, I was thinking, can I sue all the Beer Manufacturer's for all the ugly women I've slept with?"
  ... More Lawyer Jokes?


 CLASSIC JOKE
Would be funny if it were not so true!!!
My father-in-law had prostate surgery. We brought him to the hospital at 7:30 a.m., and he was operated on at eight.
We were amazed when the hospital called at noon to tell us he could go home.

Two months later our beagle, Bo, also had prostate surgery.

When I brought him in, I asked the veterinarian what time I should pick him up.
The vet told me Bo would remain overnight.
"Overnight?" I said "My father-in-law came home the same day."

The vet looked at me and said, "Bo's not on Medicare!"

Submitted by: Aileen Gordon
  ... More Classic Jokes?


 USEFUL INFORMATION
Today's Message of the Day is:

Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile.

Submitted by: Rene Andert
  ... More Useful Information?