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 JOKE OF THE DAY
Teens have their texting codes (LOL, OMG, TTYL, etc.).
Not to be outdone by these little SNK (snotty nosed kids), now, finally we long-suffering seniors have our own texting codes!

Texting for Seniors as follows:

ATD - At the Doctor's

BFF - Best Friend's Funeral

BTW - Bring the Wheelchair

BYOT - Bring your own teeth

CBM - Covered by Medicare

CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center

DWI - Driving While Incontinent

FWBB - Friend with Beta Blockers

FWIW - Forgot Where I Was

FYI - Found Your Insulin

GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low

GHA - Got Heartburn Again

IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?

LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out

LOL - Living on Lipitor

OMMR - On My Massage Recliner

ROFL..CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing...Can't get Up!

TOT - Texting on Toilet

TTYL - Talk to You Louder

WTP - Where are the Prunes

WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil

Hope these help!

GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In






Todd Sabo


 BLONDE JOKE
I had decided to go shopping to get a gift for my wife. We were going to be taking a trip, and I knew that she would need a new swim suit. I had been to several stores, but could not find one that I knew she would wear. My wife is very modest. As I was headed home disappointed in not finding what I had been shopping for, I noticed a women's clothing store and decided to give it one last try. As I entered the store I was met by a very attractive blonde sales clerk. "Can I help you find anything special today sir?" I replied, "Maybe you can. I'm looking for a swim suit for my wife. I know that she would prefer a one piece suit if you have them."

The clerk looked a little puzzled....."Do you think that she would prefer the top or the bottom?"
  ... More Blonde Jokes?


 GOLF JOKE
A young woman, who happened to be blonde, had been taking golf lessons.

She had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a
bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the
clubhouse for help and to complain.

Her golf teacher, who also happened to be blonde, saw her come into the
clubhouse and asked, "Why are you back in so early? What's wrong?"

"I was stung by a bee," she said.

"Where," the blonde golf teacher asked.

"Between the first and second hole," she moaned.

The golf instructor nodded knowingly and said, "You're standing with
your legs too far apart."

Submitted by: Fred Lee
  ... More Golf Jokes?


 JEWISH JOKE
A couple preparing for a religious conversion meets with the orthodox rabbi for their final session. The rabbi asks if they have any final questions.

The man asks, "Is it true that men and women don't dance together?"

"Yes," says the rabbi, "For modesty reasons, men and women dance separately."

"Well, okay," says the man, "but what about sex?"

"Fine," says the rabbi. "A mitzvah within the marriage!"

"What about different positions?" the man asks.

"No problem," says the rabbi.

"Woman on top?" the man asks.

"Why not?" replies the rabbi.

"How about doggie-style?"
"Of course!"

"Well, what about standing up?"

"NO!" says the rabbi.... "Could lead to dancing!"
  ... More Jewish Jokes?


 LAWYER JOKE
How many lawyer jokes are there?
Only three. The rest are true stories.
  ... More Lawyer Jokes?


 CLASSIC JOKE
Two guys are drinking in a bar.

One says, "Did you know that lions have sex 10 to 15 times a night?"

"Nutz," says his friend, "and I just joined The Elks."

Submitted by: Aileen Gordon
  ... More Classic Jokes?


 USEFUL INFORMATION
Another SCAM! Just sent to me...

Keep a watch out for people standing near you at retail stores, restaurants, grocery stores, etc., that have a cell phone in hand. With the new camera cell phones, they can take a picture of your credit card, which gives them your name, number, and expiration date.

Identification theft is one of the fastest growing scams today, and this is just another example of the means that are being used. So, be aware of your surroundings.
  ... More Useful Information?