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 JOKE OF THE DAY
Teens have their texting codes (LOL, OMG, TTYL, etc.).
Not to be outdone by these little SNK (snotty nosed kids), now, finally we long-suffering seniors have our own texting codes!

Texting for Seniors as follows:

ATD - At the Doctor's

BFF - Best Friend's Funeral

BTW - Bring the Wheelchair

BYOT - Bring your own teeth

CBM - Covered by Medicare

CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center

DWI - Driving While Incontinent

FWBB - Friend with Beta Blockers

FWIW - Forgot Where I Was

FYI - Found Your Insulin

GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low

GHA - Got Heartburn Again

IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?

LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out

LOL - Living on Lipitor

OMMR - On My Massage Recliner

ROFL..CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing...Can't get Up!

TOT - Texting on Toilet

TTYL - Talk to You Louder

WTP - Where are the Prunes

WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil

Hope these help!

GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In






Todd Sabo


 BLONDE JOKE
Q: Why do Blondes have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.
  ... More Blonde Jokes?


 GOLF JOKE
In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden....

and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.
  ... More Golf Jokes?


 JEWISH JOKE
Isaac Weiss, a married man, goes to the shul and tells the Rabbi, "I had an affair with a woman - almost."

The Rabbi says, "What do you mean, 'almost'?"

Isaac says, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."

The Rabbi replies, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to go near that woman again. Now, pray for forgiveness and put $50 in the 'Tzedakah box'."

Isaac leaves the Rabbi, goes over and says his prayers, then walks over to the Tzedakah box. He pauses for a moment and then starts to leave.

The Rabbi, who was watching, quickly runs over to him and says, "I saw that. You didn't put any money in the Tzedakah box!"

Isaac replied, "Well, Rabbi, I rubbed the $50 against it and you said it was the same as putting it in!"
  ... More Jewish Jokes?


 LAWYER JOKE
A true story: A convicted con man was recently found to be impersonating a lawyer in New York City.

To which one judge remarked, "I should have suspected he wasn't a lawyer. He was always so punctual and polite."
  ... More Lawyer Jokes?


 CLASSIC JOKE
One morning a local highway department crew reaches their job-site and realizes they have forgotten all their shovels.

The crew's foreman radios the office and tells his supervisor the situation.

The supervisor radios back and says, "Don't worry, we'll send some shovels...just lean on each other until they arrive."
  ... More Classic Jokes?


 USEFUL INFORMATION
Kings in a deck of cards

King of Spades: King David

King of Hearts: Charlemagne always with Ermine Coat

King of Diamonds: Julius Caesar always in profile, with hand extended

King of Clubs: Alexander the Great always holds orb

Submitted by: JRZ
  ... More Useful Information?