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 JOKE OF THE DAY
Teens have their texting codes (LOL, OMG, TTYL, etc.).
Not to be outdone by these little SNK (snotty nosed kids), now, finally we long-suffering seniors have our own texting codes!

Texting for Seniors as follows:

ATD - At the Doctor's

BFF - Best Friend's Funeral

BTW - Bring the Wheelchair

BYOT - Bring your own teeth

CBM - Covered by Medicare

CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center

DWI - Driving While Incontinent

FWBB - Friend with Beta Blockers

FWIW - Forgot Where I Was

FYI - Found Your Insulin

GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low

GHA - Got Heartburn Again

IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?

LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out

LOL - Living on Lipitor

OMMR - On My Massage Recliner

ROFL..CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing...Can't get Up!

TOT - Texting on Toilet

TTYL - Talk to You Louder

WTP - Where are the Prunes

WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil

Hope these help!

GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In






Todd Sabo


 BLONDE JOKE
Q: Why don't Blondes like making KOOL-AID?
A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.
  ... More Blonde Jokes?


 GOLF JOKE
One day a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie.

"Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."

So, he tied her up and went golfing.
  ... More Golf Jokes?


 JEWISH JOKE
An old Jewish man was dying in the hospital. Only one person is allowed in the room at a time. Grandson Ben went in first. "Hello, Grampa Moishe. Can I do something for you?"

"Yes," said Grampa Moishe. Go tell Gramma Sadie I want some of her chopped liver. Ben went out and told Gramma Sadie, who said,
"Go tell Grampa Moishe he can't have any chopped liver. It would kill him."

Ben went back in and reported. "You tell Gramma Sadie I want the chopped liver. I'm dying anyway and it won't make any difference."

Ben went and told Gramma Sadie, who said, "Go tell Grampa Moishe he can't have any. The chopped liver is for the shiva."
  ... More Jewish Jokes?


 LAWYER JOKE
How many lawyer jokes are there?
Only three. The rest are true stories.
  ... More Lawyer Jokes?


 CLASSIC JOKE
An 80-year-old man was having an annual physical.

As the doctor listened to his heart with the stethoscope, he began to mutter, "Uh-oh."

The man asked the doctor, "What's the problem?"

"Well," said the doctor, "you have a serious heart murmur. Do you smoke?"

"No," replied the man.

"Do you drink in excess?"

"No." replied the man.

"Do you have a sex life?"

"Yes, I do!"

"Well," said the doctor, "I'm afraid that with this heart murmur, you'll have to give up half your sex life."

Perplexed, the old man thought a minute and said, "Which half -- the looking or the thinking?"

Submitted by: Margo Australia
  ... More Classic Jokes?


 USEFUL INFORMATION
Subject: Car Theft and your Vin #

As sad as it is this has already happened, thought you might like to know about this.

It seems that car thieves have found another way to steal your car or truck without any effort at all. The car thieves peer through the windshield of your car or truck, write down the VIN number from the label on the dash, go to the local car dealership and request a duplicate key based on the VIN number. The car dealer's parts dept will make a duplicate key from the VIN number and collect payment from the thief who will return to your car. He doesn't have to break in, do any damage to the vehicle, or draw attention to himself. All he has to do is to walk up to your car, insert the key and off he goes to a local chop shop with your vehicle.

You don't believe it?

It IS that easy.

To avoid this from happening to you, simply put some tape – electrical tape, duct tape or medical tape) across the VIN label located on the dash board. By law, you cannot remove the VIN number, but you can cover it so it can't be viewed through the windshield by a car thief.

I urge you to forward this to your friends before some other car thief steals
another car or truck.
  ... More Useful Information?