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 JOKE OF THE DAY
Teens have their texting codes (LOL, OMG, TTYL, etc.).
Not to be outdone by these little SNK (snotty nosed kids), now, finally we long-suffering seniors have our own texting codes!

Texting for Seniors as follows:

ATD - At the Doctor's

BFF - Best Friend's Funeral

BTW - Bring the Wheelchair

BYOT - Bring your own teeth

CBM - Covered by Medicare

CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center

DWI - Driving While Incontinent

FWBB - Friend with Beta Blockers

FWIW - Forgot Where I Was

FYI - Found Your Insulin

GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low

GHA - Got Heartburn Again

IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?

LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out

LOL - Living on Lipitor

OMMR - On My Massage Recliner

ROFL..CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing...Can't get Up!

TOT - Texting on Toilet

TTYL - Talk to You Louder

WTP - Where are the Prunes

WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil

Hope these help!

GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In






Todd Sabo


 BLONDE JOKE
A blonde, a brunette, and a red head all tried out for the same job as road stripers. The boss told them they would all work for three days and whoever painted the most would get the job.

At the end of the first day the redhead had painted 3 miles the brunette had painted 2.5 miles and the blonde had painted 10 miles. The boss was so excited he told the blonde to keep it up and the job was hers.

The next day the red head painted 5 miles and the brunette 5.6 miles and the blonde 4 miles. The boss told the blonde not to worry for she still have a good lead.

On the third day the red head painted 6 miles the brunette 5 miles and the blond only one mile.

The boss was so disappointed, he asked the blonde, "What went wrong, you were doing so well".

She said, "Well, that bucket of paint keeps getting further and further away".
  ... More Blonde Jokes?


 GOLF JOKE
Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 5-iron standing over a lifeless man.

The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?"

"Yes" says the woman.

"Did you hit him with that golf club?"

"Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her, hands on her face.

"How many times did you hit him?"

"I don't know, five, six, maybe seven times... .just put me down for a five."
  ... More Golf Jokes?


 JEWISH JOKE
A Jewish father was troubled by the way his son turned out, and went to see his Rabbi about it.

"I brought him up in the faith, gave him a very expensive bar mitzvah, cost me a fortune to educate him. Then he tells me last week he has
decided to be a Christian! Rabbi, where did I go wrong?"

"Funny you should ask," said the Rabbi. "Like you I, too, brought my boy up in the faith, put him through University, cost me a fortune, then one day he, too, tells me he has decided to become a Christian."

"What did you do?" asked the father. "I turned to G-d for the answer" replied the Rabbi.

"And what did he say?" pressed the father. "

G-d said, 'Funny you should ask...
  ... More Jewish Jokes?


 LAWYER JOKE
What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of dirt?
The bucket.
  ... More Lawyer Jokes?


 CLASSIC JOKE
The preacher came to call the other day. He said at my age I should be thinking of the hereafter.

I told him: "Oh, I do it all the time. No matter where I am in the parlor, upstairs, in the kitchen, or down in the basement, I ask myself:

"Now, what am I here after?"

submitted by: Renee Andert
  ... More Classic Jokes?


 USEFUL INFORMATION
Gift Cards


Well the crooks have found a way to rob you of your gift card balance.

If you buy Gift Cards from a display rack that has various store cards you may become a victim of theft. Crooks are now jotting down the card numbers in the store and then wait a few days and call to see how much of a balance they have on the card. Once they find the card is "activated", they go online and start shopping.

You may want to purchase your card from a customer service person, where they do not have the Gift Cards viewable to the public.
  ... More Useful Information?